With regard to With regard to my parents I was raised with several “parents”. In the United States, where I lived most of my life, I was with my mother and father but I also had loving parents in Europe whom I would visit regularly. Both provided for my needs and encouragement and each held a special, loving bond with me. My European parents groomed me within the Order caring form my spiritual and political training. Living with them was always a rare and exciting time. With them I seemed to have no limits nor could I show no fault. They would indulge me without end as long as I excelled in my studies. Discipline was rare with them, often no more than a cold and silent stare, but it would hurt me to the bone. My American parents helped me endlessly to create a persistent impression of normalcy that would hide my volcanic ambition and complex desires.
One of my profound experiences with my European family happened in my early teens. It was my first introduction to the man they referred to as “the seer”.
With my interactions in the Order what I learned about the outer world is that the people there are shortsighted, myopic and habitual. They would rather respond to their immediate needs than to any great vision. Thinking and forethought are for them an exception. The few who are skilled at it excel and prosper. Fewer still have been allowed to marry into our ranks. But many of us aspire to greatness and if it is not greatness of the world then we can specialize within the Order.
One such person I had heard about since I was a child. He was simply referred to as “the seer” and I was told that he possessed powers of foresight and divine the truth from people soul merely with a look in his eye. The story was that he was bred from a long line of seers and psychics with both sides of his family agreeing to work to bare forth a perfect seer. I was told that his only training was in becoming a seer and that he gave up schooling and education so that he would become a perfect instrument for the Order.
At first I assumed it was merely a child's tale used to frighten children and amuse adults but it was my European family that showed me the truth of this story. I was ten or eleven years old and I was told that I would soon see the seer and he would give me guidance and direction. I was warned to take him quite seriously and as the date of the meeting approached I heard more stories about him. I was told that he has one eye and that he plucked out his other eye so that he could turn it toward the other world and see the future.
Finally the time came to visit with the seer. It was evening and I was told a car had approached our house and that he was readying himself for me. Everyone was solemn almost fearful at the knowledge of his presence. I was dressed and led to a room of the house. The door was closed and I was told to step inside as everyone hurriedly rushed away.
Walking inside I saw a frail man with white hair sitting at a small table. As he seemed to gaze into space he neither turned toward me or gestured to me. There was only another chair facing his so I took a seat and found I was facing him. The dim light showed a man well past sixty, perhaps much older. He seemed frail and gaunt, no more than 100 pounds. His affect was so blank I thought him to be one of those souls who is fed and bathed by others because their disabilities leave them incapable.
The moment passed with him unmoving. I began to feel uncomfortable and fidget in my chair. At a moment when my attention seemed to drop he reached out and grabbed my arm from across the table like a snake and with strength uncommon for is size he pulled me closer. Then I saw more clearly his face. Aged by time his skin was pale. His left eye showed only a pale hollow socket while his right eye drew me closer. The proximity of his healthy eye felt like a knife blade closing in on me. I tried to squirm but he was like a stone.
After a time of cutting through me with his eyes he let go of me and fell limp. It was at this point that I realized there was another person in the room. The room was lit well enough that I had no idea how I could have not seen them. At that moment they rushed to the seer with no concern for my well being and leaned in close to him. A murmur came from him that seemed like a combination of unintelligible words and escaping gas. The mysterious person listened intently and began to scribble on a note pad. I then realized he was the seers scribe.
This exchanged continued until no further noise came from the seer. My heart was racing. Finally the scribe directed his attention to me and shouted “Go!” and began to help the seer to his feet.
Two nights later at a party that I attended with my European family I saw the seer again. This time he was as vibrant and active as anyone in the room. He stood just over five feet tall, slender and black patch over his left eye. The patch made itself seem like an impressive ornament on his face. It was by the encouragement of my family that I was to greet every guest of the party and found approaching him again quite discomforting. When greeting me he stumbled over my name behaving as if we had never met. While he had burned and impression into my mind I was to him just another cypher, a person to read and report to the Order. I was raised with several “parents”. In the United States, where I lived most of my life, I was with my mother and father but I also had loving parents in Europe whom I would visit regularly. Both provided for my needs and encouragement and each held a special, loving bond with me. My European parents groomed me within the Order caring form my spiritual and political training. Living with them was always a rare and exciting time. With them I seemed to have no limits nor could I show no fault. They would indulge me without end as long as I excelled in my studies. Discipline was rare with them, often no more than a cold and silent stare, but it would hurt me to the bone. My American parents helped me endlessly to create a persistent impression of normalcy that would hide my volcanic ambition and complex desires.
One of my profound experiences with my European family happened in my early teens. It was my first introduction to the man they referred to as “the seer”.
With my interactions in the Order what I learned about the outer world is that the people there are shortsighted, myopic and habitual. They would rather respond to their immediate needs than to any great vision. Thinking and forethought are for them an exception. The few who are skilled at it excel and prosper. Fewer still have been allowed to marry into our ranks. But many of us aspire to greatness and if it is not greatness of the world then we can specialize within the Order.
One such person I had heard about since I was a child. He was simply referred to as “the seer” and I was told that he possessed powers of foresight and divine the truth from people soul merely with a look in his eye. The story was that he was bred from a long line of seers and psychics with both sides of his family agreeing to work to bare forth a perfect seer. I was told that his only training was in becoming a seer and that he gave up schooling and education so that he would become a perfect instrument for the Order.
At first I assumed it was merely a child's tale used to frighten children and amuse adults but it was my European family that showed me the truth of this story. I was ten or eleven years old and I was told that I would soon see the seer and he would give me guidance and direction. I was warned to take him quite seriously and as the date of the meeting approached I heard more stories about him. I was told that he has one eye and that he plucked out his other eye so that he could turn it toward the other world and see the future.
Finally the time came to visit with the seer. It was evening and I was told a car had approached our house and that he was readying himself for me. Everyone was solemn almost fearful at the knowledge of his presence. I was dressed and led to a room of the house. The door was closed and I was told to step inside as everyone hurriedly rushed away.
Walking inside I saw a frail man with white hair sitting at a small table. As he seemed to gaze into space he neither turned toward me or gestured to me. There was only another chair facing his so I took a seat and found I was facing him. The dim light showed a man well past sixty, perhaps much older. He seemed frail and gaunt, no more than 100 pounds. His affect was so blank I thought him to be one of those souls who is fed and bathed by others because their disabilities leave them incapable.
The moment passed with him unmoving. I began to feel uncomfortable and fidget in my chair. At a moment when my attention seemed to drop he reached out and grabbed my arm from across the table like a snake and with strength uncommon for is size he pulled me closer. Then I saw more clearly his face. Aged by time his skin was pale. His left eye showed only a pale hollow socket while his right eye drew me closer. The proximity of his healthy eye felt like a knife blade closing in on me. I tried to squirm but he was like a stone.
After a time of cutting through me with his eyes he let go of me and fell limp. It was at this point that I realized there was another person in the room. The room was lit well enough that I had no idea how I could have not seen them. At that moment they rushed to the seer with no concern for my well being and leaned in close to him. A murmur came from him that seemed like a combination of unintelligible words and escaping gas. The mysterious person listened intently and began to scribble on a note pad. I then realized he was the seers scribe.
This exchanged continued until no further noise came from the seer. My heart was racing. Finally the scribe directed his attention to me and shouted “Go!” and began to help the seer to his feet.
Two nights later at a party that I attended with my European family I saw the seer again. This time he was as vibrant and active as anyone in the room. He stood just over five feet tall, slender and black patch over his left eye. The patch made itself seem like an impressive ornament on his face. It was by the encouragement of my family that I was to greet every guest of the party and found approaching him again quite discomforting. When greeting me he stumbled over my name behaving as if we had never met. While he had burned and impression into my mind I was to him just another cypher, a person to read and report to the Order.
More to come ....
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