The Beginning

I have chosen to write this document after a great deal of thought and not without great concern for my wellbeing. It is a document that describes, in as much detail as I can offer, the systematic programming process of the members of our Order.

To many the word “programming” means the evil manipulation of others but I have no doubt about the worthiness of our cause. The Order seeks nothing less than the salvation of humanity. Each step of our plan is vital and programming is a justifiable means to worthy end.

As a result of this choice to make this record I have battled many long held inner conflicts that are a result of my own lifetime of programming within the Order. Holding firm the secrets of our Order is the first rule, often punishable by death. I have “died” many times during the writing of these words. For one month I endured a paralysis on my right side that was diagnosed as a stroke. I knew the malady was not a stroke but an inner program trying to prevent me from making this record.

Many times I would sit to read what I had written and look at the words without any memory of having written them. Only after hours of examination, and often severe migraines, would something “snap” and flood me with the memories and purpose of my writing.

I am by nature and necessity a very organized person but this record is at best a hodge podge of my experiences. Within the Order we are trained to lock away thoughts, actions, memories, behaviors and even inner personalities to more perfectly fulfill our greater purpose. What has resulted is that during my archeology of my memories there would be experiences that have no continuity to the rest of my life. Memories would come forth without knowing how the experience started or ended. Emotions would flood through me without any seeming cause or origin. I have spent many a night assailed by visions of dark figures around me as I forced out words onto the pages.

Nonetheless, I feel that someone must know our work and it is only my story that I can tell.

It is my duty, within this great plan, to see that those whom I am given to work with follow their orders. They must be trained to follow each order with exacting precision and without hesitation and it is my responsibility to make that happen. Each order given is a holey act to perform as part of The Great Plan. Each disobedience is a transgression that is dealt with swiftly and severely. There is no other option. Any person who seems unable to follow orders in this way does not last long. An intravenous injection of insulin or potassium chloride is often used to appear as a heart attack or the arrangement of a traffic accident is enough to lay aside any question of suspicious death. Fortunately, that seldom needs to happen. I am very good at what I do and have sat on the high counsel to supervise others so that their ability to program is raised to the same proficiency.

Much to my joy, everything that I have done for the Order has worked perfectly. However should anyone be so daring as to break our vow of secrecy they easily be labeled “mentally disturbed”, their claims would be seem so outlandish that no one would believe them. That is if we did not deal with them first.

I am greatly fortunate to have risen high enough within the Order that there are few sufficiently qualified to act as my programmers and question my orders. One of the benefits of ambition within the Order is the higher one goes within the hierarchy the fewer people one must answer to. There is no doubt that had I attempted this record of my life at an earlier age it would have been preempted and halted. Lie detectors would have revealed this secret had I not yielded to torture and electro convulsive shock would have been used to erase all memory of my own actions.

I have learned that there are people who would find these steps barbaric and inhuman yet I remain certain of the righteousness of our purpose. There are some things so great that the ends justify the means.

More to come ....